Guessing Game Gone Wrong

Guessing game gone wrong

My love of my life and I are sitting for tea with my parents. Not unusual, least; not for others. But then again others don't have, My, parents.

"oh guess what!" exclaimed my love in a chipper voice.
"what?" i say as my parents eyes focus upon us.
"noooo, you have to guess!" she said.
as soon as the words left her mouth I knew something intriguing, yet haunting, was going to happen.
"ill let you think about it while i go to the loo." she said happily as she prance out of the room.

I turn to my mother and father. they both look back at me. its kinda terrifying actually.
both are sullen people. My mother has the characteristics of a female captain Hook, while my willowy father is the mirror image of a stingy rich banker. both have this royal airs about them that makes one want to bow before them or serve them. which would be very odd considering my father mops the floor of an elementary school, and my mother gets spit upon by old people at a seniors center.

"hmmmm" said my mother, "she looks kinda flush. almost like a pregnant lady."
"your right she was flush, but twitchy, as if she stole something, or did something naughty." replied my father.
both look down their noses at me. I wiggle like a worm in my chair, and add more sugar in my tea. "uh, well, I don't know she always looks that way." I reply as i stir.

"you don't think she has slept around and contracted AIDS?" my father asked.
"No!" my mother cried out "I don't want my grandchild to be HIV positive! they will become a crack addict and mug people" she sobbed.
Tea sprays out out of my nose and i begin to wheeze.

"She must get an abortion!" my mother exclaims.
"Dump that slut!" my father dictates.

all i could do is stair at them in shock. Finally my beloved skips back into the room.

"So did you guess?" she asked.

"I think we did." said my father in an acid tone.

"oh cool!" she said "I'm so proud of my raise at work!"