How I Met Britta

So I'm in like grade 2 okay? i sitting there eating my sandwich, when suddenly this hoard of blood thirsty chickens starts attacking the kids on the monkey bars. This chick in my class named Britta and me are all "we have to save them! well except him cuz hes got cooties!" so Britta whips out glue sticks, rips the caps off and throws them at the wild chickens and exploded. i try to round them up using my semi-automatic crayola-gun. in the end there were dead chickens everywhere and we had chicken soup hot lunch for 2 weeks. they also made a shrine out of me and Britta in the sandbox but the stupid grade 6ers stomped on it.

How Me And Jordan Met

on deviant art, is Jordan's story. my story is once while i was sitting at the end of my drive way this giant guy in a carrot suit walked past smoking a cigar. i yelled out, hey ain't you suppose to be a white rabbit? the carrot dude stopped and told me due to tax cuts hes the best i could get. i shrugged and ran after him. he jumps into this hole in the ground and disappears. i morned his death for a bit then decided that ice cream was a better idea. so I'm at the ice cream shop and as I'm about to get my ice cream this wacko guy with cheese clunks me on the head and i black out. i wake up and I'm in this foreign country were pants are underwear and have this un-dieing lover for deep fried fish and chips with tea. i dust my self off and this guy rides up on this giant spray painted T-rex. I was like "whow! nice T-rex Jordan!" he was all "how the hell do you know my name?!" and i pointed to his name tag. suddenly the earth shook and people started screaming. Jordan yelled out "come on we have to save them!" so when i tried to climb on also, the T-rex picked me up in his mouth and started running. we get there just in time to see this giant pissed off granny destroying buildings. "oh no! she must of ate some bad crumpets!" yelled out Jordan and his pet rex spit me out and charged at the old lady. i tried to breath fire onto the granny but due to the large amounts of Dino drool in my eyes i was facing the wrong way boiled some water in a random kettle making a nice cup of tea. Jordan and his Dino had the old bag pinned down and i grabbed my tea and yelled "drink up Senior citizen!" and dumped the tea on her. unbeknown to me i made Prozac tea and the old lady shrunk and mellowed out. she was so happy that she made cookies for us! sadly i was unable to try them due to the fact Jordan's T-rex clunked me on the other side of the head and passed out again. when i woke up this time i was back in the ice cream shop with 2 cops arguing over whether is was mozzarella or white Cheddar that i was hit with. i then stood up and went home. da endz!