A soft whimper is heard, then slowly changes into a roar. A beast that cannot be described prowls inside me. I try to look directly at it, yet even as I do, I cannot see it. The monster shifts and blends when I try to observe it.
It roars again, and my ears feel like crystal, shattering. I drop to my knees, tears rolling down my face. My chest begins to burn, as if the fires of hell have taken up permanent residence there.
I gasp, breathing becomes painful as the beast claws its way up my throat. I want to cry out, I want to vomit, I want to rid myself of this creature!
I curl up into myself like a tiny baby tucked away inside a mothers womb. With one last gasp I look at the beast one more time. I can see its eyes now, they are as cool as ice. I know its name. The creature that has brought me so much pain, is known only by that of Guilt.
I found out that I hurt someone today, that I would have never dreamed of hurting. This is how I feel.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Me Eyes Are Jelouse Of My Ears
My finger slips and I hit a button. Something blares from the speakers, and I reach out and try to turn it down, but my hand wont comply. What's going on?!
It started at my hands, making the tips itch and tap, then worked its way up my arms to my shoulders. I try to stop the sizzling and crackling feeling that is zipping through my veins but it is useless, it has now captured my shoulders making them shift and roll. I look down and see my hands are now clapping, and my hips twisting and waving back and forth like a reed in the wind. The beat changes, and rushes to my toes. I jump out of my chair and try to stomp it out, but to no avail! Instead of stomping I swirl around in a graceful circle.
What is happening?! What could be so powerful that it makes my body betray itself!
The speakers speed up, and all I could do is comply and allow my body to twist and bend as if it and the speakers were whispering sweet nothing to each other.
Then something snapped. It rushes over me, like flames licking my skin, the tips of my fingers and toes snapped with electricity. Daisies bloomed behind my eyes, opening up my soul. I let go and allow my body to do what it wills. My arms reach for the sky and twist and move like smoke, my hips try to match them with a twist that buckles my knees and brings me closer to the floor. I hear myself laughing, the joy of it all wrapping itself around me. I feel so happy I could poop rainbows.
Something changes, and my body begins to slow down, my arms lower themselves, my hips sway slowly then come to a stop. Then as if I have just woken up from a long winters sleep I look around, I am no longer by the computer but half way across the room. The last bit of magic tugs at the corners of my lips and i slowly walk back to my computer and sit down.
Slow Jam
It started at my hands, making the tips itch and tap, then worked its way up my arms to my shoulders. I try to stop the sizzling and crackling feeling that is zipping through my veins but it is useless, it has now captured my shoulders making them shift and roll. I look down and see my hands are now clapping, and my hips twisting and waving back and forth like a reed in the wind. The beat changes, and rushes to my toes. I jump out of my chair and try to stomp it out, but to no avail! Instead of stomping I swirl around in a graceful circle.
What is happening?! What could be so powerful that it makes my body betray itself!
The speakers speed up, and all I could do is comply and allow my body to twist and bend as if it and the speakers were whispering sweet nothing to each other.
Then something snapped. It rushes over me, like flames licking my skin, the tips of my fingers and toes snapped with electricity. Daisies bloomed behind my eyes, opening up my soul. I let go and allow my body to do what it wills. My arms reach for the sky and twist and move like smoke, my hips try to match them with a twist that buckles my knees and brings me closer to the floor. I hear myself laughing, the joy of it all wrapping itself around me. I feel so happy I could poop rainbows.
Something changes, and my body begins to slow down, my arms lower themselves, my hips sway slowly then come to a stop. Then as if I have just woken up from a long winters sleep I look around, I am no longer by the computer but half way across the room. The last bit of magic tugs at the corners of my lips and i slowly walk back to my computer and sit down.
Slow Jam
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